Funny Birthday Quotes & Wishes - Top 100 Funny Quotes For Birthdays

Sending a simple message to wish someone a happy birthday is so boring! Check out these funny birthday quotes and wishes to spice up the party. You can use these birthday quotes in a number of ways. Whatever way you choose to do, we are sure you will definitely make someone happy.

Hopefully below collection of funny quotes about birthday will make you laugh. And hopefully you can find a unique or practical birthday gift for your loved ones here from Luckybudmall - an online gift store.

  • 1 Without birthdays we wouldn’t know how much makeup to put on in the morning.
  • 2 Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
  • 3 Let us respect gray hair, especially our own.
  • 4 There is a world record that I think you will break some time in the next few years - It’s “candles on a cake.”
  • 5 You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years of experience!
  • 6 You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.
  • 7 Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.
  • 8 I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.
  • 9 Women deserve to have more than 12 years between the ages of 28 and 40.
  • 10 It’s OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.
  • 11 A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
  • 12 You would have loved the gift I did not bother getting you.
  • 13 Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit... but check it for wrinkles first!
  • 14 Looking fifty is great... if you are sixty.
  • 15 Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.
  • 16 Happy birthday! May your Facebook wall be filled with messages from people you never talk to.
  • 17 Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. Happy birthday!
  • 18 As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Happy birthday!
  • 19 On your birthday, I thought of giving you the cutest gift in the world. But then I realized that is not possible, because you yourself are the cutest gift in the world.
  • 20 Seeing as I usually forget everyone’s birthdays, you should consider it a miracle that I’m sending you this message. Happy Birthday!
  • 21 Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser. Happy birthday!
  • 22 Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
  • 23 Age is a relative term. All my relatives keep reminding me how old I am.
  • 24 Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  • 25 Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.
  • 26 Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
  • 27 Birthdays are like taxes. Both seem to happen too often and there’s no avoiding either.
  • 28 Birthdays are nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake.
  • 29 I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.
  • 30 I can’t believe it’s already been a year since the last time I didn’t buy you anything for your birthday.
  • 31 I only drink on two occasions. When it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
  • 32 Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don’t really know.
  • 33 The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
  • 34 The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
  • 35 They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.
  • 36 Two tips on your birthday: 1) Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
  • 37 You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
  • 38 You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out.”
  • 39 I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
  • 40 It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you. 
  • 41 You’re so old that when you looked at your birth certificate, it said expired.
  • 42 Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
  • 43 The younger you try to look, the older you actually are.
  • 44 Don’t think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
  • 45 Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
  • 46 When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
  • 47 With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
  • 48 Happy birthday, my friend. Don’t worry about the increasing wrinkles, you should rather be grateful for your blessings.
  • 49 My dear friend, another year has gone, but unfortunately that doesn’t mean you’ve become any wiser.
  • 50 I promise I won’t reveal your age to anyone at the party, but we should probably light your cake outdoors in case the candles catch fire.
  • 51 I made you a birthday cake to celebrate but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires.
  • 52 At least you are not as old as you will be next year! Happy Birthday!
  • 53 They say that with age comes wisdom. I am not so sure... I’ve met a lot of really stupid old people. So far, you’re not one of them. Happy Birthday!
  • 54 Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed.
  • 55 If someone comes up with the idea to call you old: then hit him with your stick and throw him your teeth! Happy Birthday!
  • 56 I’m sorry for getting so drunk on your birthday that people thought it was my birthday.
  • 57 On your day as birthday present, I want to give you joy, love, friendship, wisdom and lots of other things that cost nothing!
  • 58 I’m sorry you’ve reached an age where playing air guitar can cause an injury.
  • 59 I wish there was an even lazier way than social media to wish you a happy birthday!
  • 60 Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. That’s what you feel today.
  • 61 The usefulness of life is measured on its application, not in its length. Have a wonderful birthday.
  • 62 A lighter? We’re going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles.
  • 63 Though science says that people starts losing their memory at the age of 41, but for your we can only hope.
  • 64 Hey, no matter how old have you become today, make sure that you don’t forget that where you kept the car keys. Good Luck!
  • 65 Finally you are 21, and now you can legally do everything you have been doing for years!
  • 66 Happy Birthday! It’s about time you start acting like your real age.
  • 67 It’s freezing today, and it is so good that your birthday cake with all the candles brings much more warmth than the fireplace.
  • 68 On your big day, I wish that your failures be as few as the teeth of our grandfather.
  • 69 I was going to give you something awesome for your birthday, but they wouldn’t let me courier myself to you. Happy Birthday!
  • 70 East and west my brother is best. From this day we go a step further towards getting our sister in law. Many many happy returns of the day.
  • 71 May you get more than you ask for on your birthday. Just remember Mom told you to always share with me.
  • 72 The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
  • 73 Have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You know too many of my secrets. Happy Birthday. 
  • 74 A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age.
  • 75 Happy 15th anniversary of your 18th birthday.
  • 76 The nature has kept this day special because you are permitted to eat as much cake as you can.
  • 77 I am not 60, I’m 18 with 42 years of experience.
  • 78 It’s a special day - your birthday! Let’s go out and celebrate you being one year closer to removing your age from your Facebook profile.
  • 79 Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!
  • 80 It's important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.
  • 81 The good thing about getting older is if you don't want to do something you can say, I'm too old to do that!
  • 82 You're not as young as you used to be. But you're not as old as you're going to be.
  • 83 You've heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and “you're looking wonderful.” 
  • 84 When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents. 
  • 85 Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I need an upgrade.
  • 86 At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.
  • 87 Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, "Happy Birthday."
  • 88 So far, this is the oldest I have ever been
  • 89 A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
  • 90 Do you remember all the crazy, fun moments we had when we were kids? Of course, you don’t, you antique! Happy birthday!
  • 91 I urge you not to count the candles on this year’s birthday cake. Not only it will take up the entire time of the party, with the memory you have at your age, you will probably forget where you are and will have to start over a million times! Anyways, happy birthday!
  • 92 Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
  • 93 I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
  • 94 You’re older today than yesterday but younger than tomorrow, happy birthday!
  • 95 Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
  • 96 Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirement home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?” Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!” “Really? like a newborn baby?” “Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”
  • 97 If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you’re a genius!
  • 98 Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
  • 99 Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
  • 100 Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.

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